


tricks by fate

by ikjottw



Category: Silverboys - Fandom, Treasure 13, YG Entertainment | YG Family, YG Treasure Box (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Infidelity, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, woong and byounggon just make a cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 13:32:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19174294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikjottw/pseuds/ikjottw
Summary: Where your soulmates name appears on your skin. Raesung majorly screws up by cheating on Junkyu,  thinking it won't affect their love. But when Junkyu finds out what he did, Raesung watches as his name slowly vanishes from Junkyu’s body.





	tricks by fate

Junkyu and Raesung were childhood friends they did absolutely everything together. Anywhere Raesung went, Junkyu followed. Junkyu looked at Raesung as if the sun shined out of his ass. He would do anything for him. 

Raesung was the same, he was confident in himself. Always the brash one, the class clown. But his protective tendencies only came out when it came to Kim Junkyu, his childhood best friend. 

So when Junkyu turned sixteen and finally got his soulmates name he was ecstatic. Because right on his arm, in big bold letters it said Choi Raesung. 

He had called Raesung up in a rush and had told him to meet him at his place. Raesung had come looking breathless and had given him the widest smile, “Hey, soulmate.” Junkyu just beamed and threw himself into Raesung’s arms. “I knew it had to be you.” He proudly stated.

“It’ll always be you and me against the world Kyu.” Raesung had said with an affectionate smile. He kissed him like Junkyu was the center of his world and he’d never let him go, because that would mean he’d be letting go of a part of him.

-

They were the perfect couple, the type that joked around together. The type that did absolutely everything together, the type that had everyone else around them jealous. They had moved in with each other at just twenty and they couldn’t ask for anything better. 

-

Raesung walks up to Junkyu on the couch and kisses his cheek, ““I know I don’t say this enough, and I don’t mean to be cheesy but thank you,” his right hand resting on the side of Junkyu’s cheek.

“Thank you for staying by side even though I’m always away in the studio. Thank you for putting up with me and all my crap. Thank you for loving me despite my countless flaws. Thank you for never leaving me no matter how much I push you away,” Junkyu smiles at the unexpected, he was never one to be so cheesy.

Junkyu just hugs him and pulls him in for a kiss, “You said it was us against the world right?”

Raesung smiled, “Forever.” 

-  
The first time Choi Raesung had seen Choi Hyunsuk was at a bar. 

Something about him spelled danger. From the dark eyeliner smudged under his eyes to the bandaid on his cheek, nothing about him could be safe. Yet something about him still allured Raesung, and Raesung stepped forward. But he quickly stopped himself as the mark on his hand felt like it was burning him. Hyunsuk made eye contact with him for a second and raised his eyebrow but Raesung ignored it and walked away. Junkyu was waiting for him at home, his best friend and that’s all that matters. 

.

Junkyu didn’t even ask any questions when Raesung showed up late, drunk off his mind. He just got him some water and tucked him in bed. Raesung grabbed his wrist, “You’re so good to me.” Junkyu smiled, “You’re good to me too Rae, but you will have a massive hangover tomorrow and that’s a idiotic move.”

Raesung felt himself drift off to sleep as Junkyu was talking and Junkyu just gave him a loving smile and pecked him on the lips, “I love you.” 

.

When Raesung and Junkyu had gone to their composition class, he hadn’t expected to see the blonde boy he had seen the other day in the club at the front of the classroom being introduced as a new transfer. He wasn’t wearing the eyeliner today nor was he wearing a leather jacket. But something about him still had Raesung wanting to know more, but every single time he so much as thought of him his soulmate mark would burn. Reminding him of how truly shitty he was. 

Junkyu whispered in his ear, “He seems nice doesn’t he? We should try being friends with him.” Raesung meekly nodded and gave him a weak smile, “Yeah, he does.” 

He lifted his head up again to stare at Hyunsuk once more, but this time Hyunsuk was staring back. A flash of recognition passed in his eyes. His eyes glanced at Raesung and Junkyu’s clasped hands and the way Junkyu was leaning into Raesung’s shoulder. Raesung felt awful for wanting to shrug Junkyu away at this moment. Hyunsuk turned his face away and went back to looking passive, the professor spoke up. “Sit beside Kim Junkyu over there, Hyunsuk.” Hyunsuk walked over and did as he was told. 

Junkyu, just like the ball of sunshine he always is, offered Hyunsuk a beaming smiled and put his hand out. “Hey, I’m Junkyu.” 

Hyunsuk’s smile mirrored Junkyu’s and Raesung was shocked. The boy he had deemed dangerous seemed so innocent right now. 

-

That started Junkyu and Hyunsuk’s friendship. Raesung was never there to witness most of it, he always made up excuses and even if he was there, he would just cling to Junkyu and opt to make out with him, probably putting Hyunsuk in an uncomfortable position but he couldn’t help it. Junkyu just figured it was because he didn’t open up to others as easily as Junkyu did.   
-  
That quickly changed when Raesung and Hyunsuk were paired together as partners to make a song together. Junkyu had just pouted about how he wouldn’t get an A this time because Raesung had the best mark in the class. Hyunsuk had lifted his eyebrows and said, “Really?” Raesung blushed and Junkyu continued on talking. “Yeah, his dream is to have his own studio one day, He’s so talented Suk. He’ll show you his songs one day.” 

“I’m looking forward to it.” Hyunsuk gave Raesung a genuine smile but Raesung just looked away which caused Hyunsuk to frown. Junkyu noticed and just whispered to him, “He just gets shy about his works, don’t take it personally.” Hyunsuk didn’t seem convinced but nodded, “If you say so.” 

-

Junkyu and Raesung were at an italian restaurant. Raesung rolled his eyes at Junkyu, “How many times do I have to tell you, there’s nothing romantic about sharing a strand of spaghetti Kyu.” Junkyu pouted, “You could just play along if you love me Raesung, I’m hurt.” He grasped his chest. 

Raesung sighed, “Fine.”

They shared the strand of spaghetti and Junkyu pulled Raesung in for a kiss. Raesung felt safe, this is where he’s belonged since he was a kid anyways. With Junkyu, it’ll always be Junkyu. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a cough, It was Hyunsuk and he was with another guy. “Hey guys, this is um Seunghun, he’s my date. I’m sorry if i’m disturbing um that. But I figured i’d come say hey.”

Junkyu just waved him off and gave him his signature smile again, “Don’t worry about it! Let’s make this a double date!”

Hyunsuk went and sat beside Raesung and Raesung’s breath hitched, it didn’t go unnoticed by Hyunsuk though. Who gave him a knowing look. Raesung knew Hyunsuk was smart, he probably had caught on a long time ago. 

Seunghun was sitting across Hyunsuk but beside Junkyu and they were in a conversation about god knows what. Raesung tried to focus on the way Junkyu’s face looked, tried to focus on just how pretty he was, how his smile was more blinding than the sun and how lucky Raesung was to have him. 

But it wasn’t working when he had the presence of everything he’s always stayed away from beside him. 

Because Junkyu was the calm in his life, the sun. But Hyunsuk felt like a storm, he was the adventure Raesung had always wanted but was too scared to chase because of the limits of a small town. He was the moon. 

Raesung decided to focus on his food instead, looking at it as if it were the most interesting thing. That is until he felt a foot caress his foot. His breath hitched again at the contact and he looked at Hyunsuk from the corner of his eye and he was smirking. Hyunsuk quickly pulled away, but only after he had left Raesung craving more. 

The day ended without any other events and they all bid their farewells. Junkyu and Seunghun turned around and Raesung was about to before he saw Hyunsuk sending a wink his way. He felt his breathing stop. Hyunsuk just smiled, but then turned too. Raesung stood still, “Hey, baby? Are you okay?” Junkyu asked when he realized Raesung wasn’t walking behind him. Raesung coughed a bit to hide his embarrassment, “Yeah, I just think I ate too much.” 

Junkyu pouted and brought his hand to inspect Raesung’s forehead, “Sleep it off, yeah baby?” Raesung smiled but then pushed Junkyu’s back onto the alley way wall, “It’s been so long since we’ve done something risky though babe, I miss it.” He began sucking Junkyu’s neck. Junkyu rolled his eyes and pushed him off, “We’re not kids anymore Raesung, do you want to get booked for public indecency. Let’s go, yeah?” Raesung looked at him a little disappointed, their relationship was nothing like how it was when they were teenagers anymore. It was repetitive, it was boring and it lacked adventure. 

Raesung just sighed, “Yeah, let’s go sleep.” 

-

When Raesung and Hyunsuk had finally met up for there assignment, he didn’t know what to expect. Hyunsuk was actually focused on the work though. There were no teasing stares, it was a side of Hyunsuk, Raesung didn’t know existed. He was utterly beautiful when he focused on something he loved. Raesung quickly shoved any thoughts he had about him deep inside though. Kim Junkyu was his soulmate for a reason and the universe didn’t make any mistakes. 

Raesung looked at Hyunsuk curiously, he realized he didn’t even know who the name on Hyunsuk’s wrist was. Hyunsuk was one of the only people he knew that weren’t in a relationship with their soulmate right now. 

“Hyunsuk, can I ask you a question?”

Hyunsuk smiled, “I almost thought you were mute when it came to me Raesung, you’re capable of asking questions too?” He smiled teasingly. 

Raesung felt a blush creep onto his cheeks, “I just wanted to know if you had a soulmate mark, i’ve never seen you talk about it.”

Hyunsuk sadly smiled and lifted his sleeve up, “I never got one.” He whispered quietly. “Guess the universe just didn’t think anyone could handle me, you know? Good thing too, no one deserves me.” Hyunsuk smiled like it was a joke but Raesung could sense the sadness behind his words. 

“It might show up one day Hyunsuk, don’t give up hope.”

“Maybe.” Hyunsuk had just bluntly said. 

“Raesung, what do you love about Junkyu?” Hyunsuk asked in all seriousness. 

Raesung’s breath stuttered at the question but the answer came out easily, because he loved Junkyu and that would never change, “Well there are tons of things I absolutely hate about him. Like…his feet smell awful. He’s messy - a right pig. He’s quite emotional. But he doesn’t complain about things until it’s too late and the problem is nearly out of control. He’s even more of a mummy’s boy than I am,” Hyunsuk laughed and Raesung smiled, knowing it was so true.

“He proofreads my little love-notes and sends them back to me so I can rewrite them before he’ll actually accept them. Prick. He gives me these outlandish excuses when he doesn’t want to be serious and talk something out. He’s a bit possessive - sometimes I just want to sing ikon songs to him! He wakes me up way too early on the weekends. Let’s see…when he gets mad at me, he storms up to our bathroom and he’ll sit in the bath tub for hours with a book and headphones so he can’t hear me - he’ll come out after and he’s all pruned-up and weird-looking. He teases me about the way I dress, calls me ‘Grandpa’ all the time. He-"

Hyunsuk raised his eyebrows at Raesung and snorted, “I asked what you love about him Raesung.”

Raesung just continued, “He lets me make fun of his stinky feet, and he’ll spray down his shoes if he’s going to leave them in the room so I don’t have to deal with the smell - as bad. He’ll apologize and clean up when I get fed up with his mess. He’s sensitive and understands if I’m being right emotional about some things. He doesn’t ever complain about simple things, the way I do. He gets that I love my brothers and he shows them the proper respect, and he’s chuffed when I do the same to his family. He keeps the pre-edited notes in a little box with my name on it. He hides it under the bed, and thinks I haven’t seen it yet, but I have. And I know when he goes away for work, he takes the box with him so he can read my little notes. 

His imagination is so much fun, and it makes tense things seem less tense, makes it easier to deal with. Sometimes, his possessiveness gets a bit hot, to be honest, and I’ll go out of my way to make him jealous, but I know he’d never leave and we can trust each other 'til the day we die. When he wakes me up, he does it with hot tea and biscuits and all my favorite breakfast things, and he’ll cuddle with me and stroke my hair and sing to me all my favorite songs - he’s got a crazy good voice - ’til I wake up nice and slow on my own. When he comes out of the bath all pruned, he’ll just hug me and apologize for staying mad so long - he knows I hate people being upset with me. He teases me, yeah, but he compliments it all the time, saying it wouldn’t work for other people, foolish things like that.” Raesung paused and smiled, grasping his ring around his neck, the one Junkyu had bought for him at 16. 

“He’s not all about sleeping together around the clock. Most nights, we just have a nice cuddle try to think of lyrics and he works on school work - and we’ll have tea and crappy TV dinners and watch stupid movies with sweatpants and socks on, and he’ll be sat next to me on the couch and he’ll look so wonderful. He’ll grab my hand whenever I’m feeling stressed, and it’s like an anchor to reality. He never lets me give up, and he pushes me at the gym because he knows how disappointed I’ll be in myself if I don’t complete my workout. He…it really is like he’s the perfect person for me out in the world.” Raesung gushed, but then automatically felt bad as he saw Hyunsuk’s sad eyes. He wanted to hug him, to kiss away his sadness in the moment and it took all his willpower to not do it. He just simply stared, “I-I’m sorry, I rambled too much.”

Hyunsuk just sadly smiled, “You love him much more than I thought.” he said. The unspoken tension between them remained, both knew what Hyunsuk was trying to say. Hyunsuk knew he couldn’t come in between the two. No matter how much Raesung and Hyunsuk might’ve wanted it. 

Hyunsuk turned his face back to the computer screen to continue working on the song. Raesung’s phone rang, “Hey Raesung, I picked up some McDonalds, I was wondering if you wanted me to come drop it off at the studio?” Raesung looked at Hyunsuk, who was obviously listening even though he was pretending he wasn’t. 

His fingers were grasping the mouse way too tight for it to be healthy, his eyes screamed pain. "Uh i’m not at the studio right now.”

Hyunsuk turned his head around fast enough to get whiplash, he looked at him in disbelief. 

“Yeah, we already ate and finished our part so I went to Yedam’s house to help him with his part.”

Junkyu just hummed, “Okay, i’ll eat with Midam hyung then, text me if you’re going to sleepover if it gets too late, yeah? Love you.”

“Love you too baby.” Raesung said and cut the call.

Hyunsuk was still staring at him in shock, “Why’d you lie?” He whispered. 

Raesung just ignored him, Hyunsuk repeated himself, “Why’d you lie Raesung? Tell me please?” His voice was desperate now, his tone pleading.

Raesung sighed, “I-I don’t know Suk.”

“Call me that again.”

“Call you what?” Raesung looked at Hyunsuk.

“Call me Suk, it makes me feel like i’m yours Raesung, your Suk.” 

Raesung let the mouse in his hand fall, “Don’t say that.” He said in a pained tone. 

Hyunsuk didn’t listen, “Raesung, you didn’t leave me today. You feel it too, there’s a spark between us Raesung. I don’t care if you’re not my soulmate. This feels too real for me to let go.”

Raesung sat completely still in his chair, he couldn’t argue with what Hyunsuk was saying, because it was true. He didn’t know why his feelings for Hyunsuk felt so uncontrollable, they had never felt this way even when he was around Junkyu. 

“W-We can’t Hyunsuk. He’s one of your best friends. I’m dating your fucking best friend, he’s my soulmate.” 

Hyunsuk let out a pained laugh, “I fucking hate that word Raesung, it’s such bullshit. Does that mean i’ll just never find love? Because the world just deemed me unlovable? My mom didn’t have one either, you know? She had me with a man she didn’t even know because she wanted a child to fill up her loneliness. I don’t even know who my father is Rae. It’s so bullshit Raesung. It’s so fucking bullshit that no ones ever going to love me.” Hyunsuk looked up at Raesung with teary eyes and Raesung felt his heart break for the blonde, “I want to be loved too Raesung, I want what you and Junkyu have, I don’t want to break it apart. But Raesung, I tried to keep it inside of me for so long, because you have Junkyu and you both are happy. But I can’t anymore Raesung, I want to be selfish for once. I want love too. I don’t want to end up alone like my mom did. Please Raesung, i’m so fucking terrified.” Hyunsuk sobbed out.

All of Raesung’s willpower was thrown away right at that moment, he threw his arms around Hyunsuk and Hyunsuk sobbed into his chest, “Raesung, call me Suk again, please?” He said as he desperately clings onto Raesung’s shirt. 

“Suk, you’re going to be okay yeah? You’re going to find love, I promise you.” 

Hyunsuk desperately clutched at Raesung’s shirt again, “It’s you Rae, I know it’s you. It has to be. You make me feel things that I’m not supposed to feel. Why? Why do you have this control over me? You’ve taken over most of my thoughts. It’s infuriating.” 

Raesung let out a fearful breath, “I-It can’t be me Suk.” 

“But you want it to be you. Don’t bullshit me and say you don’t feel anything. You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, i feel like i can breathe and it’s because of the day I saw you at the club. You felt those sparks too, right? It’s why you looked away.” 

Raesung remained silent, he was having an internal struggle right now, “We’re supposed to just be friends Hyunsuk.”

“You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.” Hyunsuk stated as a fact. 

Hyunsuk sighed and continued, “I’ve had boyfriends too you know? They always said they’d stay no matter who their soulmate ended up being, but they never did Raesung. They left everytime, because in this world it’s either your soulmate or nothing. You’re right Raesung, Junkyu’s your soulmate, he’s your everything. I shouldn’t have brought it up, I’m sorry.” Hyunsuk moved his hand to wipe the tears away from his face with his sleep. “I-I’ll go now.” He hiccuped.

Raesung’s facade finally broke when he saw how defeated and broken Hyunsuk looked. As if he truly thought of himself as unlovable and the feeling of wanting to protect Hyunsuk at the moment overpowered his feelings for Junkyu. He grabbed Hyunsuk’s wrist and pulled him back into his lap. “R-Rae?” Hyunsuk said in a hopeful tone. 

Raesung shut him up with his lips pressed to his, Hyunsuk reciprocated and they both kissed each other frantically, knowing that this might not last. Raesung felt actual sparks, ones that Junkyu’s and his kisses couldn’t even compare to.

He frantically pushed Hyunsuk against the table, Hyunsuk blushed and broke the kiss, “I want to go slow please, not fast. I don’t want this to be over. I’ll love you and you can pretend you love me, yeah?” Raesung nodded and went back to leaving marks on Hyunsuk’s neck. Hyunsuk shuddered. He’d never been made love to like this before. It was steady, but somehow that made it more intense. 

He was less able to disengage himself in the act– Raesung’s body was directly on his: breath on his neck, hands pleasuring him, and he was being loved in a way that was less about relieving stress and more about making Hyunsuk feel it. He didn’t think he’d even be able to forget how it felt, if he’d be able to be with anyone else without thinking of Raesung, without thinking of how the boy was able to utterly wreck him. And in the back of his mind– the one that was barely functioning at the moment– wondered if that was Raesung’s goal. That thought was quickly shoved aside with Raesung biting his lip again and Hyunsuk opening his mouth to let their tongues fight for dominance. 

-

Raesung and Hyunsuk had ended up at Hyunsuk’s place and Hyunsuk had dreaded the moment Raesung would wake up and tell him he regrets it. Just like all the other did. He prepared his heart while he made breakfast for two, knowing that there was a 90% chance that it’d just end up being him having the food. Well, a good binge was always good for heartbreak. Raesung walked out a few minutes later and Hyunsuk looked at him terrified, truth be told, he didn’t want him to leave at all. He knew he was betraying Junkyu just as much as Raesung was, but he had finally felt loved.

Raesung stared at him and then at the breakfast and then sighed. He sat down and began eating though. “You’re going to stay?” Hyunsuk asked in disbelief. 

Raesung smirked, “Why? You want me to leave?”

Hyunsuk frantically shook his head, “No.” He whispered. “Then i’m not going to.” Raesung said in a voice that made it seem like his decision was final. 

Suddenly Hyunsuk’s face lit up and Raesung saw the smile he had been thinking about the past few months constantly. He wanted to make sure that Hyunsuk always smiled like that, he wanted to make sure he always made him smile like that. 

He got up and snaked his arms around Hyunsuk’s waist, “I can’t leave Junkyu for you though, I-I love him.” Raesung stated.

Hyunsuk looked a bit disappointed because of his words but he quickly hid it, “That’s fine, promise me you’ll try to stay over at my place as often as you can though? Just let me have that? Please? I’ll be the one you love secretly.” 

Raesung nodded and pecked him on the lips, “I actually do love you Suk.” 

Hyunsuk’s smile was now the widest it had ever been, “You love me?”

“Yeah.”

Hyunsuk buried his head into Raesung’s chest, “Stay with me today then? We can go on a date but in Gwangju or something instead so no one will see.” 

Raesung seemed to contemplate it for a while, he had barely been able to come up with an excuse to Junkyu about why he had forgot to text him that he was going to stay the night. But Hyunsuk was looking at him with the most hopeful eyes and it finally looked like he believed in love again and Raesung couldn’t bare to let him down. “Let’s go.” He smiled and kissed Hyunsuk again. Hyunsuk squealed, “I love you Raesung, i’m never going to get tired of saying it.”

“I love you too Hyunsuk.” 

-

Junkyu was waiting for Raesung a few weeks later at their cafeteria table, lately it had been hard to get alone time with him. Hyunsuk and Raesung had also gotten close because of the project they had and Hyunsuk was around much more often now so Raesung and Junkyu had to keep their intimacy to a minimum. Junkyu was glad his new best friend and boyfriend got along now though. 

Raesung walked in with Hyunsuk by his side, they were both laughing at something Hyunsuk said and Raesung bopped his nose affectionately. Junkyu tried to not think too much about it, he tried not to think about the fact that, that was their thing. He wasn’t going to be jealous of his best friend, nope. Raesung slid in beside him, “Hey, Babe.” He said and pecked his boyfriends cheek. Junkyu pecked his lips, “Hey.” He smiled. 

Hyunsuk smiled at him, “Hey Kyu.”

Suddenly Kim Seunghun came and sat beside Hyunsuk and Junkyu felt his worries being washed away, he suddenly felt guilty for ever being suspicious. Seunghun pecked Hyunsuk’s lips and then began eating, Junkyu didn’t notice the fact that Raesung was secretly fuming beside him, he didn’t notice his clenched hands. But Hyunsuk did and just threw a smirk and a wink in his direction. Raesung glared at him. But Hyunsuk just took his foot and starting playing footsie under the table with Raesung again. “I have to go to the washroom, also Suk I heard Ms.Kwon wanted to see you.” 

Hyunsuk snorted but got up and followed Raesung out. Seunghun suddenly felt like he knew what was going on but he didn’t have the heart to tell the boy in front of him. Choi Raesung was Kim Junkyu’s world and everyone knew it. 

-

Raesung shoves Hyunsuk into the bathroom stall, “You like it when other boys kiss you huh?” 

Hyunsuk rolls his eyes and glares at Raesung, “So you can kiss Junkyu whenever you want in front of me and i’m not allowed to complain. But i’m not allowed to get my own public boyfriend either? You’re lucky Junkyu’s oblivious as hell or anyone else would’ve picked up by now.” And Hyunsuk was right. If it were anyone but the trusting Junkyu, they would have picked up the teasing stares, the loving looks, the jealous stares, the touches that were just a second too long to be considered friendly. 

Raesung sighed, “We agreed that I wouldn’t leave him Suk.” 

Hyunsuk wacks Raesung’s hands off him, “I changed my mind Rae.” He snapped.

“I can’t do this anymore knowing you’re going to go be in his bed the next night. It’s fucking destroying me. I thought I could handle it but I can’t, I cant handle the guy I love being with someone else.” 

Raesung brushed his fingers through his hair frustratedly, “You said you wouldn’t make this complicated Suk.” 

Hyunsuk glared at him again, “Well life doesn’t always going according to plan does it? This isn’t fair to me or him both Raesung. You’re going to end up losing us both if you keep going like this.” 

Raesung’s tear slipped down his cheek, “I can’t lose you baby. I love you Suk.” Hyunsuk sighed and wiped the tear off his cheek. “How are you even with him if-“ He starts kissing Raesung’s jaw, “If all you do is think of me when you kiss him, I know you do Raesung don’t deny it. But, did you at least think of me, when you were doing it with him? Does he do it better than me Rae?” Hyunsuk whispered seductively and moved onto his neck and Raesung’s breath hitched. They were both interrupted by a knock on the stall though, “Is it Raesung in there? You’d been gone for a long time so I got worried.” Junkyu said. 

Raesung quickly covered Hyunsuk’s mouth with his hand and Hyunsuk rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine babe. I just have a small stomachache. I’ll be out in a few minutes. Can you take my bag to my next lecture?” 

Junkyu spoke up, “Yeah, go to the nurse if it gets worse though, okay?”

Raesung heard Junkyu’s footsteps leaving the premises and let out a sigh of relief. He removed his hand from Hyunsuk’s mouth. He then glared at Hyunsuk, “I’m tired too. I’m tired of watching you leave and us having to pretend nothing’s going on,” Raesung starts to explain, “I hate it when we’re with our friends and I have to act is if we’re just friends. I can’t stand to watch as Seunghun get to be overly flirty with you and I can’t say anything. I despise when Seunghun wraps his arms around you or pulls you into him, Or if Gon does...I know you’re just friends, but it burns me that I can’t declare that you’re mine. That you’ve always been mine!”

“Raesung…,” Hyunsuk sighs and looks down at the floor, “I’m not yours...I’ve never been,” a single tear escaped his eye.

“You’ve always been…even when you became distant and stayed away you were still mine.”

“I stayed away because you’re in a fucking relationship with your soulmate,” Hyunsuk chuckled trying to keep his emotions at bay.

“I only dated him because I had never met you,” he replies, kissing Hyunsuk’s hair.

“And now...why do you stay with him?”

“Because he’s all i’ve ever known. I don’t want to lose his friendship. But you’re the one I love Hyunsuk” he says matter of fact.

Hyunsuk quickly masked his emotions, “You’re going to have to let him know before he finds out for himself Rae, or you really will lose him. You’ve already lost me until you can own up to it.” Hyunsuk walks away unbothered.

Raesung’s legs gave out and he collapsed to the floor, “What the fuck is my shit show of a life?” He said to no one in particular. 

He called Junkyu, “Junkyu come to the washroom please, I can’t get up.” He tried to not sob.

“I’m coming in a minute Rae, just wait.”

Junkyu really did come in under a minute, he measured Raesung’s temperature with his hand. “Raesung, you’re burning up.” He said. 

“Let’s get you home yeah? You need to rest.” 

Junkyu offered his back to Raesung who got on top of it for a piggy back ride. 

Raesung spoke into Junkyu’s neck, “You’ll always be here for me right? I can’t lose you Junkyu. You’re my best friend.”

“Of course i’d always be here, what’s this about baby? I love you and I always will. You’re my soulmate.” Raesung felt himself grimace at the word soulmate. 

“Nothing, I just really appreciate you Kyu.”

Junkyu nodded, “Talk to me more about your feelings, yeah? You tend to bottle them up, that isn’t healthy.”

Raesung just hummed. 

-

When Raesung woke up it wasn’t Junkyu beside him, It was Hyunsuk in a chair with some soup in his hands. “Suk?” 

Hyunsuk quickly put the soup on the table and jumped to be closer to Raesung’s side, “Thank god you’re okay, I was so scared something had happened to you. I-I was afraid it was because of me. Junkyu called me to take care of you because he had a test he couldn’t miss.” 

Raesung grabbed Hyunsuk’s hand and started crying, Hyunsuk was shocked, he had never seen Raesung cry like this before. 

“Don’t leave me Suk, please.”

Hyunsuk sighed, “This isn’t going to end well, Rae.”

“I don’t care, as long as you’re by my side. I-I’ll find a way to talk to him. Just give me some time please, he’s still my best friend, I don’t want to lose that.” Raesung whimpered. 

Hyunsuk’s eyes seemed to gain light in them and he genuinely smiled and then kissed his forehead, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Raesung realized he hadn’t said these three words to Junkyu in a, long, long time. The guilt was eating him alive. Hyunsuk slid into the bed with him, “You’re adorable, baby.” Hyunsuk says in adoration.

Raesung pulled him closer and Hyunsuk rested his head on his chest and they drifted off to sleep. 

-

Junkyu walked into the bedroom to see them sleeping, he sighed and brought out a blanket that covered both of them. Friends can cuddle with each other, right? 

-

Junkyu was waiting on the couch when Hyunsuk stepped out, he looked like a robber caught in his crime. But Junkyu chose to ignore it like always.

“Were you the one who gave us the blanket.” 

Junkyu smiled, “Yeah, i’m glad he finally got to sleep. He’s been stressed cause of finals. So, at least one good thing came out of this.”

Hyunsuk stuttered, “Y-Yeah.” 

“Thank you for taking care of him Hyunsuk, he forgets to sometimes. I’m glad you guys have finally become friends.” Junkyu turned his head back to the TV, what he didn’t see were Hyunsuk’s eyes that were now full of immense guilt. 

“You really love him don’t you?” Maybe even more than me, Hyunsuk thought. 

Junkyu beamed, “Of course, he’s been it for me since the moment I met him, we’re unbreakable. It’s always been me and him, you know? Us against the world.” 

“Yeah.” Hyunsuk quickly turned around to not show his tears that were threatening to slip, how stupid could he have been. Thinking that he actually had a chance. Thinking he could compete with Raesung’s actual soulmate, his best friend of 15 years. He was going to be left in the end again, inevitably. Because he wasn’t given the right to be loved by whatever higher deity was up there. “I’m going to go, I have some work to finish.” Hyunsuk managed to mumble out without his voice cracking. 

“Good luck, Sukkie” Junkyu smiled again and Hyunsuk hated himself even more for doing this to him and not feeling guilty. Kim Junkyu was too good for this world

-

Raesung woke up and found Junkyu cooking, he snaked his arms around his waist and backhugged him. He began kissing his neck, “Gross Rae, you’re sick. Try not to get me sick too yeah? Someone in this relationship needs to be able to function.” He teasingly smiled. 

Raesung didn’t know how to tell Junkyu he needed to remember why he loved Junkyu. He needed to be felt loved by him, to really make a decision. Raesung broke down crying. Junkyu looked at him in shock and then quickly turned the stove off and kneeled next to him, “Baby, what’s wrong? Rae, talk to me? You’re scaring me.” 

Raesung hiccuped in between his words, “Junkyu, I just need to feel loved by you please. Why won’t you love me?”

Junkyu was confused by his words, he realized this had probably been about rejecting Raesung’s advances because he had been busy. He kissed Raesung on the lips, slowly but passionately. They broke apart and Raesung muttered a, “Won’t you get sick?”

“It’s worth it if it’s with you.” Junkyu affectionately smiled. 

Raesung didn’t even need to be loved by him to know why he loved him again. He loved Kim Junkyu because he was Junkyu. He was selfless and he would do anything for Raesung. He couldn’t leave him for Hyunsuk, someone who wasn’t his soulmate. That’s just not how things worked. The universe wouldn’t assign someone a wrong partner. Junkyu began removing Raesung’s clothes one by one and really made him feel like the most loved person there was, as if he was a china doll and Junkyu was afraid to lose him. It was way different from Hyunsuk and his passionate and frenzied fucks. 

Then why couldn’t Raesung get himself to say I love you? 

“I love you so much, Raesung.” Junkyu smiled at him, their bare bodies lying in the bed stuck to each other. 

“Stop making me embarrassed.” 

Junkyu gave him a stare, “Raesung we’ve been friends for 15 years and we’ve been dating for 4 of those.” He deadpanned.

“It still makes me blush.” Raesung said, with the heat rising to his cheeks. “You’re such a dork.” 

“I’m your dork though.” Raesung teased. 

“Yeah, you are.” Junkyu kissed him on the forehead and went to sleep. 

He didn’t even notice that Raesung had never said I love you back, or the fact that Raesung couldn’t go to sleep because all he had on his mind was the fact that Hyunsuk would be broken if he left him.

-

Raesung sat beside Hyunsuk in the studio like usual, Hyunsuk had glasses on and was staring at the screen almost intimidatingly. It looked like there had been a shift in him. Raesung was too tired to bring it up. 

He watched as Hyunsuk nibbles on his pen concentrated on his work, the way he would run his fingers through his hair everytime he got frustrated. Raesung wanted to pull that hair and watch Hyunsuk writhing under him. He quickly shoved his impure thoughts to the back of his mind. He needed to talk to Hyunsuk, about how it’ll always be Junkyu.

“Hyunsuk?” 

Hyunsuk hummed to show that he was listening. “Junkyu.” Is all Raesung says.

Hyunsuk turned around to face him this time, his face didn’t show any form of emotion and it was impossible to know what he was thinking. “You choose him?” Hyunsuk sighed. Hyunsuk had been preparing since yesterday for this, he didn’t think it’d come so soon. That’s why his heart still felt like it was breaking into pieces. 

“I-I’m sorry Suk, he’s my soulmate, I can’t leave him like that.” 

Hyunsuk wiped a tear from his eye, “Don’t call me Suk. You promised, you promised that it didn’t matter if we weren’t soulmates because you loved me. You’re just like the rest Raesung. You used me and tossed me aside for your fucking soulmates.” Hyunsuk began sobbing uncontrollably now. Raesung realized just how much he had broken him, he couldn’t be here any longer or he knew he’d choose Hyunsuk. He moved to leave before Hyunsuk grabbed his wrist. “One last time please?” 

“What?” Raesung looked at him perplexed. 

“Make me feel like you love me one more time. I’ll leave you alone then. Look, I know I’m not special to you, I get it, but when you fuck me, I still feel like I belong to you. So call me yours when you fuck me, because that what I am. I’ll always be yours Raesung. I can’t remove the mark you’ve made on me now. I know it’s stupid, but having you on top of me makes me feel secure, so come pin me down and make me feel safe while I wrap my legs around you. I- I just want to be loved by someone who won’t leave Rae-“ Hyunsuk’s voice cracked at the end and any willpower Raesung had come with automatically left, “Suk, i’m not going anywhere i’m staying right here.”

“You won’t leave?” Hyunsuk said in a childlike tone. 

“I won’t.” Raesung sighed. “I love you too fucking much to actually leave Suk. But everything’s so fucked up. You’re right you know, I did think of you as he was making love to me. All I could think about was how pretty you’d look if you were in this position or how you didn’t do it like that. Or how you knew how I liked it better than he did even though it’s been four years.” 

Hyunsuk hugged him, “We’ll figure it out together yeah? I’m sorry for trying to always rush you to choose.” 

Raesung shook his head, “It’s not your fault Suk, you deserve someone who gives their all to you. Someone who takes you out on dates in the open, you don’t deserve to be someone’s dirty little secret. I’m sorry I can’t give that to you right now.”

Hyunsuk quickly put his hand over Raesung’s mouth to stop him from talking, “I don’t want any of that if it isn’t with you though, Rae.”

Raesung lunged at him and pushed him against the wall. He kissed him with all the love he’s gained for the shorter boy in a few months. 

“R-Raesung..." Hyunsuk breathed out as they broke for air for a moment, strings of saliva connecting their mouths. The smaller boy's eyes were glazed over with shock as he stared at Raesung, body curling into itself a bit and making him look incredibly small pressed against the wall. Raesung was in an equally dazed state, unable to believe that he was feeling the things he was feeling. Every time he touched Hyunsuk like this, it made him feel a little more human. Every extra bit of arousal made him feel more alive. He wanted more. He needed more. He never knew how badly he craved to be loved like this until he touched Hyunsuk and started feeling these sensations.

Raesung couldn’t help it anymore, “I love you Hyunsuk, I love you so fucking much. I love the way you think I can’t tell when you’re jealous. I love how your nose scrunches when you do but you try to hide it. I love when you chew on the edge of your pencil when you’re concentrated on someone. I love how even after half the guys at our schools have been throwing themselves at you, you choose me at the end of the day. I love you Hyunsuk, i’m so sorry I haven’t been able to say it like this before.” 

His words were interrupted when he heard something fall to the ground, It was Lee Midam, one of Junkyu’s close hyungs. Raesung stared at him in shock and Hyunsuk hid behind Raesung. 

“This is so fucked up, I don’t even know what to say Raesung.” Midam said in disbelief. He moved to leave but Raesung quickly followed him, “Hyung, wait!”

He grabbed Midam’s arm, but Midam shrugged it off. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Junkyu’s your fucking soulmate for gods sake. You guys have been attached to the hip since you were kids. He would fucking be ruined if he heard about this. He loves you so much Raesung.”

Raesung looked at him guiltily, “That’s the point Midam, he’s all i’ve ever known. Why do these stupid soul marks get to tell us who we can and can’t love? I don’t think me and Junkyu were meant to be any thing more than friends.”

“That’s just the way things are Raesung and you need to suck it up and accept it. He’s your soulmate whether you like it or not. Doesn’t Hyunsuk have a soulmate too? Fuck isn’t he also one of Junkyu’s friends, you guys are so fucked up.” Midam said rubbing his forehead. 

Raesung stuttered as he spoke, “H-He never got one hyung. A soulmates name, it never showed up. It never showed up for his mom either. Midam, I can’t leave him. I won’t leave him, h-he doesn’t think he can be loved. If I leave him he’s going to think that’s true for the rest of his life and settle for less. I love Junkyu, but i don’t think i love him romantically anymore and yes cheating on his is fucked up. But it just sort of happened that way?” 

Midam looked at him in disbelief, “Raesung, tell him before I do. I’m only giving you the option itself because it’ll hurt him even more if he found out from someone else.”

Raesung nodded, “I-I’ll find a way. Just give me some time.” Midam nodded and walked away.

Raesung walked back to the studio and saw Junkyu happily chatting with Hyunsuk. Raesung gave Hyunsuk a questioning stare but he just gave him a shrug. 

Junkyu turned and saw Raesung, “Baby, i bought you some food because I figured you’d be hungry.” Junkyu pecked Raesung on the lips and Hyunsuk looked away. Junkyu didn’t mention the fact that Raesung lips taste like a fanta flavoured lip balm. Nor did he make the connection that Hyunsuk constantly reapplied his lips with that said lip balm. He also didn’t mention how Raesung had begun to smell just like Hyunsuk’s vanilla scented perfume. Maybe if Junkyu had mentioned it, he would’ve found out a lot sooner. 

Junkyu kissed Raesung some more and Raesung could see Hyunsuk cowering into himself from the corner of his eye, he pushed Junkyu away. Junkyu looked at him with wide eyes but quickly masked the emotion. “I’m sorry, I just feel like i’m still a bit sick.”

Junkyu smirked, “That didn’t stop you from going even further with me yesterday.” 

Hyunsuk looked at Raesung in shock, that means as soon as he left Raesung had gone right back to Junkyu. 

He started playing with his sleeves, suddenly feeling even more insecure and unsure of himself. Raesung was witnessing it and was having a mental crisis. “I’m just not in the mood, okay Junkyu? Drop it.” Junkyu looked at him as if he had slapped him in the face, maybe slapping him would’ve been better than whatever Raesung was doing now. “What’s gotten into you Rae? I’ll just leave since you seem like you’re in a snappy mood. Here Hyunsuk, make sure he eats.” Junkyu handed the bag full of food to Hyunsuk and glared at Raesung before he left.

Hyunsuk started gathering his things to leave too, Raesung stopped him, “Where are you going?” 

“Away from you Raesung.” Hyunsuk snapped. 

Raesung grabbed his hands and held them in midair and Hyunsuk tried to free them. Stopping Hyunsuk from making any moves. “I’m sorry okay? I won’t ever let him touch me again if that’s what you want. I still had the boyfriend role to play you know?” 

“You seriously won’t let him touch you?” Hyunsuk asked.

“I’ll shrug him off like I did just now, until i figure out how to break it off.” 

Raesung freed Hyunsuk’s hands when they stopped struggling, Hyunsuk seemed like a broken child in front of him. Hyunsuk stuck out his pinky finger, “Promise?” 

Raesung smiled and said, “Promise.” as he locked their two fingers together. 

Hyunsuk wacked his chest though, “I hope you know that if we start dating and you were to ever cheat on me, like you’re doing now to Junkyu. I would cut your dick off.” 

Raesung sighed, “I’m only cheating cause it’s you, i can’t imagine myself doing this with someone else Suk. You feel it right? There’s something bringing us together.”

“Yeah.” Hyunsuk whispered. 

He spoke up again, “Don’t go back to yours tonight, please? Stay at mine. You’re mine Raesung, I-I don’t want you to go to him.” Hyunsuk’s voice cracked because he knew how selfish he was being, what a terrible friend he was to Junkyu. 

“I’ll have to go home at around 4am to finish some stuff but I promise i’ll wait until you’re asleep and he is too.”

Hyunsuk pecked him on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” and Raesung meant it.

-

Junkyu’s trying his damn best to fall asleep. He’s been trying that for a couple of hours now. He knows he’s going to regret this in the morning, that is in the mere four hours left before he has to get up and get ready for class. He feels so tired and yet he can’t sleep. There’s this one tiny little thing that’s bugging him.  
The bed is cold, or rather it seems that way to him, cause he’s shivering even though he threw an extra blanket over the duvet before he got in. Junkyu know it’s because Raesung’s not in it, cuddling him, keeping him warm. He can’t get comfortable for the life of him, switching positions every few minutes, without any results. He know it’s because the only position that would ease these anxious thoughts would be lying in his arms.

He checks his phone again. 3a.m. Still no call. Still no reply to his last text. He said he was going out with some friends. He said don’t wait up for me. And yet Junkyu couldn’t help but worry. 

He tries to reason with himself. Maybe he’s overreacting. Maybe he’s just out playing poker with his friends like he’s told Junkyu. Maybe that vanilla perfume was a new cologne of his. 

Yet, Junkyu can’t help but think of the worst. How Raesung seemed to be a lot more irritable the last few months, causing a lot of friction between the two, and some of the worst fights they’ve had yet. How he didn’t seem to really want to talk Junkyu, or know about his day. How Junkyu would wake up in the middle of the night and he’d find Raesung sleeping turned away from him, instead of cuddling Junkyu. How Raesung just stopped putting effort into the relationship altogether, feeling as though he didn’t really care anymore. And then, how suddenly, last week, he brought Junkyu flowers for no reason. He took you out on a fancy date. He bought you a necklace. As if he was trying to make up for something he did. As if he was feeling guilty. 

Junkyu tried to talk to him about it. He wanted to straight up ask him if he’s cheating on him, but he couldn’t find the courage to do so. Still, Junkyu couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, that he wasn’t being honest with him. He felt like a fool for not trusting him though, so Junkyu decided to play it by ear, asking general questions like what time he’d be back, what was he doing out or what did he have for dinner, questions that usually ended with vague answers and loud arguments.

This time, Junkyu felt like he’d had enough. He’d given Raesung numerous chances to explain, enough benefit of a doubt. Now it’s time for Junkyu to get some answers. So, Junkyu made his mind up. No more trying to sleep. He’ll wait up for him and demand an explanation, whether he likes the outcome or not. It’s just something Junkyu have to do, to prove to himself that he’s strong, and he isn’t gonna be messed with. He isn’t gonna let anyone walk all over him, even if that person is the love of his life. 

Junkyu’s terrified. Scared that his suspicions would be proven right, or even worse that he would lie to his face about it. Afraid that Junkyu’s accusations would hurt Raesung beyond repair if they were proven wrong. Junkyu can’t take the second-guessing any longer, though. He just has to know.

Nonetheless, all Junkyu could do now was wait. Wait for him to come home, to their bed, to Junkyu. Wait for him to either break his heart or prove that he loved Junkyu. Wait to ask the toughest question that would ever come out of his mouth, and receive the toughest answer that would come out of his.

As Junkyu lies there waiting, he remembers something his mum used to say to you when he was younger. “Nothing good happens after 3 a.m.” She mainly used it when Junkyu, as an avid overthinker, would stay up late and stress over things, kind of like he is doing now. He could never figure out how he knew he wasn’t sleeping, seeing as she always went to bed before him. Maybe Junkyu was making noise and not realising it. She would knock on his door softly, after seeing the light poking through under it, signaling Junkyu was awake. 

Junkyu would tell her to come in, and she would scold him lightly, urging him to get in bed, saying there was nothing else you could do about whatever was worrying him. “Enough worrying now. Nothing good happens after 3 a.m., darling. Now go to sleep. Everything will be fine by the morning.” Her soothing words always made him feel better, and even though most times nothing was fine by the morning, Junkyu knew he did everything he could to make it right.

Now, the saying seemed more like an omen, making Junkyu even more anxious. Maybe now wasn’t the time to bring this up. Maybe it would be fine in the morning. Maybe Junkyu had to let it go. 

No. Enough is enough. Junkyu hasto know.

Junkyu’s jolted by the sound of his door unlocking. He’s back. He checks his phone again. 3:34 a.m.

Junkyu can hear Raesung stumbling through the house, not bothering to turn on the lights. He gets straight in the guest bathroom and turns on the shower. 

Strange. Why doesn’t he take a shower in their bathroom? Deep down Junkyu knew the answer to that. 

He takes his sweet time, oblivious to the fact that Junkyu’s still awake waiting for him. He heard the shower shut off, and after a couple of minutes Junkyu hears the door to their bedroom crack open. He walks in, and gets in bed next to Junkyu quietly. 

Junkyu feels an overwhelming urge to get close to him, maybe subconsciously thinking that this would be the last time he could do so. Junkyu turns on his side and scoots closer to him, wrapping his arms around him. He’s naked, the only way he likes to sleep, no matter the weather. His hair is still a little damp from the shower. Somehow, the embrace doesn’t feel right to Junkyu. He feels foreign, weird. Like he doesn’t belong to Junkyu anymore.

“Why are you still up?”, Raesung asks Junkyu, a slight edge to his voice.

“I was waiting for you.”

“I told you I was going to be late.”, he says, annoyed. 

“I know.”, Junkyu sighs. “Where were you?”

“Oh, this again?”, he scoffs, referring to the times they had this conversation before, leading nowhere. “Let’s talk about it in the morning.”

“I want to talk about it now, Raesung.” Junkyu sits up, and turns his beside lamp. He turns around and just watches him expectantly. He looks as beautiful as ever, his sweet face now illuminated from the warm yellow light, his wonderfully brown eyes catching Junkyu’s. And yet, there’s still something wrong. Junkyu looks over him carefully, trying to figure it out. Junkyu takes Raesung’s hand in his, only to find out that his palm is sweaty. Junkyu notices he’s breathing quicker and heavier than usual. Junkyu moves his other hand on his chest, and feel his heart beating fast. He’s nervous. And yet, his face betrays no emotion. 

Junkyu finally gets it.

Raesung didn’t smile when he saw Junkyu, something he always used to do, even for a brief second. Junkyu thinks back to the last time Raesung genuinely smiled when he saw Junkyu, his laugh lines marking his cheek, his eyes getting all wrinkly, and realise it was quite a long time ago. Raesung isn’t hugging Junkyu back. His warm brown eyes no longer hide warmth behind them. Raesung’s trying to avoid eye contact, but when he finally shares a look, Junkyu notices that his gaze feels icy cold, causing Junkyu to physically shiver. And now Junkyu knows.

“You’re cheating on me.”, Junkyu says, and he watches as shock and remorse flush in Raesung’s eyes. Junkyu’s voice holds no doubt behind it, he is sure of it now. He gets up and runs to the bathroom, where Raesung left his dirty laundry on the floor, like Junkyu knew he would. Junkyu picks up his shirt and smells it, the sickly sweet aroma of that same vanilla perfume from a couple of days before, mixed with the heavy scent of cigarettes, hitting his nose instantly. Tears start streaming freely down Junkyu’s face.

Raesung’s cheating on him.

Junkyu drops the dirty shirt on the floor. He wants to tear it apart with his bear hands, but he doesn’t have the strength. Junkyu finally hears Raesung come after him, but Junkyu doesn’t really care anymore. There’s nothing Raesung could say that would fix this.

He comes rushing in the bathroom, and hugs Junkyu tightly, sobbing loudly.

“It won’t happen again, I swear. It was a stupid mistake. Please forgive me, please forgive me, I love you.”

“Why?”, Junkyu managed to mutter. Junkyu just wanted to know why he did this to him. Why he thought this would be okay. Why he felt the need to hurt Junkyu like he’s never been hurt before. “Why did you do this, Raesung?”

“It just happened somehow, and then it didn’t stop. I’m sorry baby, Junkyu don’t leave me, you’re my best friend, I love you.”, he rushes, barely making any sense, sniffling and sobbing uncontrollably.

“Stop lying to me, Raesung. This is not what love feels like.”, Junkyu says coldly. He’s done. He doesn’t want to hear any more excuses, Junkyu don’t want Raesung to beg him to stay. He feels like he’ll throw up if he hears Raesung saying he loves him one more time.

“Please forgive me. I’ll do anything.”, Raesung begs. He falls on his knees, clutching onto Junkyu’s knees desperately. Junkyu looks at him, his normal frame curled up in a small ball on Junkyu’s feet, his still damp hair that he’s growing out, sticking out messily in all directions. His body, on the floor next to Junkyu, still looking as perfect as ever. His face covered in snot and tears, his eyes red and puffy. 

Junkyu’s disgusted by what he did, betrayed beyond repair, and yet Junkyu still loves Raesung. He loves him with all his heart, or rather all the broken pieces that are left of it. Junkyu will always love him, but he knows that their relationship is beyond saving now. He betrayed Junkyu’s trust, he stepped all over Junkyu’s heart, he’s a liar and a cheater, he’s disloyal, he’s not worthy of Junkyu’s love anymore. And yet, Junkyu still adores Raesung, he would love him even if it killed him. Junkyu’s a fool.

“The worst part isn’t even that you cheated, It’swhen you started ignoring me, coming home late, forgetting birthdays even anniversaries. It was when you stopped calling me babe. When you stopped saying you love me. The worst part was when you fell out of love with me.” Junkyu said with tears in his eyes.

Raesung looked at him in shock but he knew he couldn’t argue with him. 

-

Junkyu suddenly remembered a day at the club, Midam, Woong, Byounggon, Seunghun, Junkyu, Raesung and Hyunsuk had all gone together. 

“Raesung’s arm had been around Hyunsuk’s that night, his hand stroking Hyunsuk’s neck and a smile against his ear. Raesung was whispering something to Hyunsuk. 

It was a scene so intimate Junkyu felt his blood run hot. Midam looked at him worriedly but Junkyu ignored it like usual. Ignored Raesung’s flaws and mistakes like he always did. Held his blind trust in him.” 

-

“You cheated on me with Hyunsuk” There was no doubt in Junkyu’s voice anymore. He was a fool, a complete idiot for not noticing all the signs he was only getting now. They both looked at each other way too long for it to be friendly. The way Hyunsuk would only show up to their place if Raesung was there. How they had gotten so close in a short period of time. How Raesung’s eyes lit up when Hyunsuk was in the room, the way his eyes used to light up when he saw Junkyu. 

Raesung stared at him in shock but didn’t deny it. He gulped, “Don’t be mad at him, it was my fault.” 

Junkyu let out a heartless laugh, “You’re seriously going to defend him in this situation too? When was it? Huh? When did you fall out of love with me and move onto him instead? He doesn’t even have a soulmate mark does he? So what? He decided that he’d just steal someone else’s soulmate instead? He’d steal you?” Junkyu glared at Raesung.

Raesung felt angry for Hyunsuk though, “Don’t talk about him like that, he didn’t want to hurt you either.” He said through clenched teeth.

Junkyu scoffed, “You’re whipped aren’t you?” Junkyu sounded nothing like the Junkyu, Raesung knew all these years and he had no one to blame but himself.

“We’re soulmates, Junkyu. You can’t just leave.” Raesung said in a small whisper. 

Junkyu turned his arm around to look at the letters once again and was shocked when he saw that the Choi in Choi Raesung had disappeared.

He showed Raesung his arm, and Raesung’s eyes went wide in surprise, “Guess even the universe agrees that we aren’t soulmates anymore.” Junkyu said with a sad tone. 

Raesung inspected his arm and saw that the Kim in Kim Junkyu had disappeared too. He should’ve felt lost, but he felt a bit more free. He felt like the shackles on his feet that were keeping Hyunsuk away had been lifted. He felt awful for only thinking about Hyunsuk in this situation too. 

Junkyu laughed but it wasn’t because things were funny, “I want you to move out Raesung. Because it isn’t going to be me.”

Raesung nodded, he had expected that. He moved to pick up his things. “Don’t break his trust like you broke mine Rae. I can see he just wants to be loved too. I won’t spare you if you break another heart other than mine. Especially if it’s the heart of someone you left me for.” Junkyu said in a whisper. 

Raesung looked at him astounded, shocked that even in this situation Junkyu was thinking about other people’s feelings. 

“I won’t.” He says determinedly. “E-Everything’s different with him Junkyu. I love him.” 

Junkyu’s heart broke even more, having the fact confirmed that Raesung really loved someone that wasn’t him. 

Raesung looked at Junkyu silently, “I’m sorry it happened like this Kyu, I didn’t want you to find out like this. I was scared, i fell out of love but I didn’t want to lose my best friend. You were the only constant in my life. I didn’t want to lose that. You’re still my best friend. I love you but not in a soulmates kind of way. Things were different with Hyunsuk, Kyu. When I saw him, it felt like the whole world had lit up. We couldn’t go two seconds without each other, without it feeling wrong. Everytime we kissed, I felt literal sparks and I think that’s what I was always looking for with us but I never got.” 

Junkyu started crying, “Why the fuck did we even get these stupid soulmate names then. I fucking hate you Raesung.” 

“I’m sorry Junkyu, I really am. Can we eventually go back to being friends one day?”

Junkyu looked at him in disbelief but then nodded, “I’ll forgive you both one day, but not for you. For me, so I can move on. Maybe we’ll be friends then but right now I want you out of my face Raesung.” 

Raesung just nodded and took the bag of his packed things and moved toward the door, “I’ll get Woong or someone to pick up my remaining stuff.” 

Junkyu just nodded emotionlessly.

As soon as the door shut. He let himself break down. He cried like he’s never cried before, he had to send the love of his life into someone else’s arms. Junkyu knew that if he had asked Raesung to stay with him, he would out of guilt and leave Hyunsuk. But he didn’t deserve that, Junkyu deserved someone who’s heart was only with him. 

-

Raesung knocked on Hyunsuk’s door at 5am, Hyunsuk opened it as if he were expecting it. “Seunghun called me, I already heard.” 

Raesung expected Hyunsuk to be sympathetic but Hyunsuk just glared. 

“Babe?” 

“Don’t fucking call me that. You told him it was a mistake. You told him to not leave you, that you still wanted to be with him. I’m so fucking stupid for trusting you. Fuck.” Hyunsuk said. 

Raesung looked at him in shock, “No, Hyunsuk baby. I was shocked in the moment I didn’t know how to react. I love you, I promise. I wouldn’t come here if i didn’t. You know how scared I was of losing him as a friend, Hyunsuk you’re the only one I love. You know that too.”

Hyunsuk cried as he looked at him, “He’s your soulmate. This is stupid, you should go back to him.” 

Raesung lifted his wrist to show Hyunsuk and Hyunsuk saw the Kim that had been erased from Kim Junkyu, “Apparently the universe doesn’t even agree with that anymore.” Raesung said in a teasing smile. “All I could think about when I saw that it was gone was that this was a sign that I really belong with you Suk. Even when he was yelling at me.” 

Hyunsuk looked at him in disbelief but then jumped into his arms, right there in his apartment hallway. He sobbed into his shoulder, “You make me so fucking scared all the time Raesung, but I still love you so much. Fuck, why do I love you more than anything?” 

Raesung put their foreheads together, “Because i’m just that cute.” He teased. 

Hyunsuk suddenly got a serious look on his face, “Y-You wouldn’t ever cheat on me like you did with Junkyu right?” 

“Never. You’re everything. I’ve already told you this already Hyunsuk.” 

Hyunsuk looked into his eyes any signs of a lie but didn’t seem to find any, “I trust you when it comes to me and your feelings for me.” 

Raesung smiled and carried him into Hyunsuk’s apartment. 

Half of his clothes were already here so it didn’t seem like anything had changed. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too Suk, now go to sleep it’s 5am.”

Hyunsuk wacked him on his chest, “Who’s dumbass do you think I was awake for?” 

-

Hyunsuk saw Junkyu a few days after those events had unfolded. Junkyu had looked at him and then simply moved to leave. “Junkyu? Talk to me please? I’m sorry, you’re still my friend. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I-I just loved him Kyu. I loved him enough that it scared me.” Hyunsuk started crying

Junkyu looked like he wanted to comfort him for a second but decided against it. “That's why this hurts so much, I hate how much I hate you. I hate that you are at the center of all of my worst thoughts. But I think I am entitled to feel angry, I think I should be allowed to loath you. Not forever, but until I am ready to forgive and move on. You knew I loved him, you knew that we were together, you called me your friend Suk. I do not place all of the blame on you, I hold you both accountable for whatever happened But this kind of betrayal from two of the people I love most, it hurts.“ 

Hyunsuk nodded, “I get that Junkyu, i-is your soulmate name gone too?” Junkyu bitterly laughed and showed his wrist, “All gone, he’s all yours now Hyunsuk.” 

Junkyu moves to get away again, “I really am sorry Kyu.” Hyunsuk said.

Junkyu just said a small, “I know.” and left. 

-

It was a month into Hyunsuk and Raesung’s officially relationship that Hyunsuk felt a burning sensation of his arms. He had yelped in pain and beelined to the washroom away from Raesung and their dinner date. 

Raesung quickly followed behind him, Hyunsuk looked at his wrist and couldn’t help the huge smile that spread across his face. Right there on his wrist, in bold letters, it said Choi Raesung.

“Baby, are you okay? What happened?” Raesung questioned worriedly. 

But Hyunsuk just gave him the most blinding smile, “Uh, Have you finally lost it Suk?” Hyunsuk shook his head and showed Raesung his wrist, Raesung’s eyes lit up with happiness as well. 

“I have a soulmate Raesung.” Hyunsuk gushed. “And it’s you, I knew it had to be you Rae. You were too good to be true.” 

“You have a soulmate and its me.” Raesung said in disbelief. He hugged Hyunsuk as if he never wanted to let go, “I love you, I told you that someone like you could never stay loveless remember? As long as i’m here I’d never leave you.”

Hyunsuk smiled at him, “I’m the happiest i’ve ever been because of you Rae.” 

Raesung kissed him like he was the centre of his universe after that sentence. Because he was. Choi Hyunsuk had wormed his way into Raesung’s life like a storm and he was there to stay.

-

Junkyu was miserable for about a few weeks after the events. He didn’t feel like eating, he barely slept and he had to stop himself from calling Raesung to come back every two seconds because he missed him. He remembers a moment where he had been in the bar after the whole fiasco with Midam and Raesung had walked in. 

“Its sad, isn’t it? When you love someone too much you can’t even blame them for breaking your heart. Its like holding onto a ticking time bomb. You know they’re gonna hurt you eventually, but you can’t seem to let go because you’re willing to get heartbroken – even if it means spending an extra minute around them. Its like roses. Yep, roses are the perfect example!” Junkyu screamed drunkenly, gravity pulling down her full weight as Midam tried desperately to keep him upright.

“Come on, I’m gonna grab you some water. Let’s go find some place to sit,” Midam sighed, dragging Junkyu to a nearby couch.

“Roses! Its like you’re holding unto them for so long because they’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful; but you never realized that the thorns you’re holding unto is hurting you! But you just keep on holding because it, it..” Junkyu’s speech was cut short as the small, golden bell latched unto the bar’s front door signals a newcomer. 

The second Junkyu’s eyes found Raesung, they screwed shut and his breathing started to uneven erratically. A stranger, his stranger -- who Junkyu happens to know everything about -- is staring right back at him, warm brown eyes desperately searching for a sign that signals he’s okay. But Junkyu will never be okay; not since Raesung’s thorns were printed as scars on him forever.

Junkyu chucked at the memory, he had felt like his whole world had ended because Raesung had left. But after a while he decided it was for the better, for 15 years all he knew was Raesung and suddenly a whole new realm of possibilities was open to him. He got to see the world like it never was before.

That’s why when he’s sitting in his psychology lecture and a tall, really cute boy sits beside him. His breath hitches. The professor up there is talking ahor Raesung’s achievements with his composing. It had become a regular thing at their school. The pretty boy turns to Junkyu and asks, ““He’s kind of cute. Do you know him?”

A million memories suddenly flash through Junkyu’s mind. He pictures the taste of Raesung’s lips and the feeling of his fingers between Junkyu’s, the first time Raesung held Junkyu in his arms and told him he loved him, the time he promised to always be there for Junkyu, and the time he decided to take back that promise. It’s funny how quickly someone can go from being your everything to being your nothing. Did Junkyu know him? Maybe Junkyu knew him too well, maybe Junkyu never knew him at all. “I used to.”

The boy in front of him looked at him curiously but something about Junkyu’s tone might have gave something away because he nodded. He held out his hand for Junkyu to shake, “I’m Kazama Noa.” 

Junkyu looked at the hand reluctantly but decided to shake it, the second their hands met. Junkyu felt the sparks Raesung went on about. He looked at Noa again, actually looked at him and he could tell Noa had felt it too. Raesung was looking at the scene from beside the professor who was still praising him. Junkyu looked down and Raesung just winked at him, “He’s cute, go get him.” Raesung mouthed. Junkyu stuck out his middle finger and Raesung tried to hold in his snort. It felt like what their friendship had felt like before they got their soulmate marks. Noa looked and Raesung and Junkyu curiously, “You two really do have some history huh? You still didn’t tell me your name by the way.” Noa smirked. 

Junkyu blushed, “It’s Kim Junkyu.”

“Junkyu, I like it.” Noa smiled. 

Junkyu felt his breath hitch, “I like your face.” He blurted out before he had the chance to think. His face quickly became as red as a tomato. Noa just let out a huge laugh, and the professor shushed them. Raesung stared in happiness. That Junkyu seemed like he was going to find someone to move on with.

“I like your face too Junkyu.” Noa whispered in his ear. Junkyu blushed even more, the more Noa was around him the more Junkyu felt like, this, this was it even though it hadn’t even been an hour. 

Noa took out his phone and handed it to Junkyu, “Lets go on a date yeah?”

Junkyu looked up at him shocked at just how forward the boy in front of him was. He put his number in the phone and handed it back to Noa, even while he was still blushing. 

-

Their dates ended up becoming a frequent thing, Junkyu finally understood what Raesung meant when he described Hyunsuk to him. How he felt when he said he finally saw the world as a colorful place and he couldn’t bare to be apart from him for even a minute. Sure, he went about it in the shittiest way possible and Junkyu still can’t forgive him. But, he finally got it. This felt nothing like his and Raesung’s relationship. This felt more right. His and Raesung’s relationship had sometimes felt like best friends just being forced into a relationship. 

So when Junkyu wakes up with a soulmate mark on his arm one day and it says Kazama Noa. He isn’t surprised at all, he simply smiles and when he sees Noa in class the next day, they look at each other and just know that both of them woke up with it.

Noa speaks up, “Let’s make this official yeah? Kim Junkyu would you go out with me?” He smiled. 

“You’re so romantic jheez, but yes i will Kazama Noa.” Noa just smiles and pulls Junkyu in for a kiss, “I’ll never get tired of doing that.” 

“I’ll never get tired of you doing it.” Junkyu smiled. Raesung coughed from underneath them on his seat, “You guys know there are like other people in this class right?” He says with a smirk.

Junkyu throws his eraser at him, “Ow, Kyu that hurt.” 

“Good, as if you and Hyunsuk aren’t worse.” 

That’s about the extent of how his and Raesung’s interactions went. It wasn’t much, but it was something. It showed that the two would always care about each other.

Noa didn’t know about their past yet and he never prodded either, even though he was curious.

Noa spoke up, “You’re dating Choi Hyunsuk?” 

Raesung raised his eyebrows, “Yeah, why?” 

“That’s my childhood friend, I was just about to ask you to meet up with me and kim Junkyu.” 

Junkyu looked at him shocked and Raesung looked at Junkyu worriedly. But Junkyu didn’t care anymore, as long as he had Noa, nothing else mattered, “Yeah, i’m down. Raesung, you’re coming too right?”

“Yeah um Suk mentioned it.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” Junkyu smiled.

-

Noa later asks about it, “What was that thing about you and Hyunsuk about?” 

So Junkyu tells him, he tells him of his and Raesung’s relationship, of his and Hyunsuk’s friendship and how it all ended. 

Noa sat in silence after he was done, “I’m so sorry Junkyu. Hyunsuk’s always been iffy about the concept of soulmates since his mom, and when he didn’t get one either it broke him. That doesn’t make up for what he did, at all. But, he’s not a bad person.” 

Junkyu hummed, “Ever since i’ve been with you, i’ve finally understood what they were feeling at the time, and that doesn’t make what they did okay. But i finally understand.” 

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, you know?” Noa says. 

“It’s fine, I forgave them a long time ago Noa, I think it’s time to finally move on.” 

Noa smiled, “You’re really strong you know that? I’m proud of you.” 

Junkyu nodded, “I know, now shut up and kiss me.” And Noa did exactly that. 

-

Hyunsuk was sitting in front of Junkyu nervously at their dinner table and Raesung was beside Hyunsuk and Junkyu just knew he was holding Hyunsuk’s hand to calm him down. 

Junkyu smiled at Hyunsuk, “I like your haircut Suk.” 

Hyunsuk looked at him perplexed but then smiled, “Thanks Kyu.” he said in a whisper. 

Raesung and Junkyu ended up talking completely normally the whole dinner, Junkyu wasn’t going to admit it but he missed this. He missed them just being friends. 

Noa and Hyunsuk were the same, Junkyu could see just how close they were and how much care Hyunsuk actually needed even though he looked in control, with the way that Raesung and Noa coddled him. 

When both of them ended up being alone and Noa and Raesung went to pay the bills. Hyunsuk spoke up, “I’m sorry Kyu.” 

Junkyu sighed again, “Let’s move on from that yeah? Let’s start fresh Hyunsuk. I forgave you a long time ago. You make my best friend happy Hyunsuk, I couldn’t hate you if i tried.” 

Hyunsuk smiled, “Take care of Noa too yeah?” 

“Of course.” 

Noa and Raesung walked back and both held the hand of their significant other. Raesung whispered in Junkyu’s ear before he left, “I’m glad you found your real soulmate Junkyu.” 

“I’m glad you found yours too Raesung, take care of him, yeah?”

“Always.” Raesung smiled and both of them walked away in separate path with their boyfriends. 

Hyunsuk looked at Raesung, “I wanted you to undress me the whole night you know?” He smirked.

“Can you get your mind out of the gutter for one second? Babe.”

Hyunsuk pouted, “How can I? When I have the prettiest boyfriend? Plus-“ Hyunsuk kissed Raesung’s neck. “That’s what you love about me right?”

Raesung looked at him with hungry eyes and shoved him against the wall in the alley. “I can’t believe i’m going to let you blow me in an alleyway Suk, I’ll probably catch like 5 STD’s”

Hyunsuk shrugged, “We’ve done worse.” 

 

-

As Noa and Junkyu were walking back Junkyu turned to Noa, “Thank you, you know? I’m glad I met you Noa. I-I love you.” It had been hard for him to gain the courage to say those words again but he knew Noa would never let him down. “I love you too Kyu.” He pulled Junkyu in for a kiss and Junkyu still felt the fireworks he had felt when he first kissed Noa. 

 

-

The four boys lives were tangled in numerous ways. But, they made it work. They met up for double dates and although at first there was some awkwardness. It quickly became a routine. Junkyu and Raesung were just glad they got their best friend back, while also finding the love of their lives. 

 

Because at the end of the day the name on Raesung’s wrist was now Choi Hyunsuk and the name on Junkyu’s wrist was Kazama Noa. And they figured, that’s the way it was supposed to be this entire time. They had to feel hurt before they found their true soulmates. The universe truly did enjoy playing tricks on them. 


End file.
